How to deal with angry husband?

We have been married over 20 years and have our ups and downs as most do. I have been doing a lot to be healthy all around and try to do all the books tell me. Yet, the message I get from my husband is to not openly communicate about anything. When I do at times, he gets very angry with me very quick. The energy is unreasonable for the situation. It feels like he is ensuring I don't talk to him about anything by getting so angry, shaping me to fit his bill. Worse, it seems I annoy him when I share anything with him. He doesn't want to talk about my work (but his is allowed), our children, friends, family, personal challenges or victories, etc. He can talk about those things and I remain very interested and vested, but when I do, seems preoccupied, uninterested. So, knowing the rules now, if I stay to myself and do my own thing and love quietly, then he asks me what is wrong, am I okay, etc. I try to not be a burden and respect his wishes of not talking about much and I love my own life fully now. Yet, it is hard to open up to him and be all cheery so he asks me what is wrong. Seems I can't be quiet or talk so I am left not knowing what to do. He also seems to think that even though I also work full time, the needs of the children, the home, and the daily dinners, are my job exclusively. I love him, just don't understand why he gets so mad so quick and why he won't be quiet when he goes on that tirade. Even when I beg him to stop, he keeps going, makes sure to make a scene, etc. I have chalked a lot of this up to maybe this is what men do, but I doubt all guys are like that and I have heard of some really good ones. Any words of wisdom are appreciated. Thanks.